Странные вещи

10 странных вещей, которые люди пытались продать в Интернете

Интернет стал всемирной гаражной распродажей, что, наверное, делает его всемирной распродажей. И если вы когда-нибудь заглядывали на гаражную распродажу, вы увидите множество странностей. У нас уже был список странностей на аукционах eBay, но мы собираемся открыть его для всех интернет-площадок. Одно замечание: невозможно установить серьезность этих предложений. Вполне возможно, что продавец держал язык за зубами. Решайте сами.

10 Туша кашалота

Фенвик говорит, что они не пытались нажиться на мертвом ките, а просто хотели найти того, кто заберет его с их берегов. Торги за тушу доходили до 2 000 долларов, когда eBay остановил аукцион из-за своей политики, запрещающей продажу животных, живых или мертвых. Министерство охраны окружающей среды Канады также сообщило Фенвику, что продажа представителя исчезающего вида, даже мертвого, запрещена канадским законодательством. В конце концов, удача улыбнулась: прилив, сильные волны и западный ветер отправили тушу обратно в море, решив проблему.

9 Человеческая душа

Оказывается, не зря eBay проводит такую политику: люди уже давно пытаются продать свои души. Еще в 2008 году участник группы Paradigm пытался продать свою душу на аукционе за 25 000,50 фунтов (около 37 500 долларов в 2008 году — зачем лишние полфунта, знает только он). Но подождите! Это еще не все! Он также посылал информацию о своей душе, а также долю от своего заработка и заработка своей группы. Но подождите! Это еще не все! Он также посылал покупателю открытку на день рождения каждый год. И у него был пункт, согласно которому он мог выкупить свою душу за 100 000 000 фунтов (150 000 000 долларов).

8 Какашка

Но для более разборчивых покупателей существует сайт Shitexpress.com, который отправит запечатанный пластиковый контейнер с какашками лошади, гориллы или слона. Как правило, этот товар не предназначен для того, чтобы вызвать улыбку на лице получателя, поскольку к нему прилагается анонимная записка от того, кого он или она раздражает. Некоторые из вариантов посланий включают «Одна парная куча от меня тебе» и «Я ненавижу твои кишки». Другая записка сбоку пытается дать получателю перспективу: «Сначала подумай о себе. Она [какашка] была послана тебе, вероятно, потому, что ты кого-то обидел или оскорбил. Сделайте глубокий вдох. Ничего плохого не произошло. С этого момента ты должен стараться быть лучшим человеком».

7 Ворсинки пупка живота

Заядлые любители гаражных распродаж скажут вам, что они часто натыкаются на предметы, которые даже не подозревали, что кому-то могут понадобиться, а тем более продаваться. Хлам одного человека — сокровище другого (так гласит поговорка). На eBay можно найти множество таких предметов, например, рулоны туалетной бумаги, пустые коробки из-под яиц, контейнеры для косметики, предназначенные для любителей декоративно-прикладного искусства. Но, по крайней мере, эти предметы используются повторно, не попадая на свалки.

Но потом вы натыкаетесь на объявление о продаже 72 пакетов мягкого соуса Taco Bell за 18 долларов (они ведь знают, что эти пакеты бесплатны?). Или iPhone 7, который выглядит так, будто провел время в мусоропроводе, с надписью: «Отлично работает и включается. Просто нужно отремонтировать экран». Запрашиваемая цена: 500 долларов. Другой продавец рекламировал ржавую «переносную костровую яму» за 100 долларов. Переносная часть — это основа для стула на колесиках, которая была прикреплена к яме. Другой продавец хотел продать «редкий» арахис с четырьмя орехами внутри за отличную цену в 500 долларов.

Победителем в номинации «Самый странный», однако, стал мужчина из Балтимора, который разместил на сайте MOPAR для энтузиастов автомобилей Chrysler информацию о своем желании обменять пупочный ворс на мускул-кар, мотоцикл, винтовку, золотые монеты или просто наличные. Ворсинки пупка у него были разноцветные, в запечатанных пластиковых контейнерах с датами начала и окончания сбора образцов. Он должен был добавить, что ему нужны только серьезные предложения (да, конечно) и предупредить о недопустимости занижения цены.

6 Одноразовый пластиковый пакет

Один креативный австралиец решил воспользоваться ностальгией людей даже спустя всего один год. Они разместили изображение пластикового пакета в фоторамке с надписью «В прошлом году мы запретили одноразовые пластиковые пакеты» и озаглавили его «Последний пластиковый пакет». Запрашиваемая цена — 250 долларов. Возможно, пройдет несколько тысячелетий, прежде чем кто-то начнет ностальгировать по этим пакетам. Тогда возвращайтесь к нам.

5 Flamin’ Hot Cheeto в форме Харамбе

Но это лишь вершина пресловутой пищевой пирамиды. Когда в 2008 году житель Техаса купил за 1350 долларов кукурузную лепешку в форме штата Иллинойс, он решил послать за ней кого-нибудь в Вирджинию. Похоже, что когда он приобрел другую кукурузную лепешку, которая была названа самой большой в мире, он отправил ее по почте, и она прибыла в трех экземплярах. Еще одна кукурузная чешуйка, имеющая форму Австралии, была продана за более чем 200 долларов.

Иисус часто появляется на продуктах питания, а когда его лицо появилось на пирсоги, когда продавец готовил его на Пасху в 2005 году, за это было заплачено 1 775 долларов. Иисус появлялся на всем: от банановой кожуры до картофельных чипсов со сметаной и луком, от подгоревшей рыбной палочки до корки пиццы и неизбежного бутерброда с жареным сыром. Иисус даже появлялся на чито как на кресте, так и во время ходьбы.

Неправильные формы соленых закусок вдохновили множество торгов в Интернете. За Чито в форме летающего Супермена просили 5 000 долларов. Дорито в форме митры папы римского в 2005 году стоил 1209 долларов. А в 2017 году Flamin’ Hot Cheeto в форме знаменитой гориллы Харамбе был продан почти за 100 000 долларов. Всего за год до этого зоопарк Цинциннати был вынужден убить Харамбе, когда в его вольер упал трехлетний ребенок.

4 Country Jacuzzi Hot Tub

Существуют компании, которые предоставят поддельные рекомендации о работе или действительное алиби на случай, если вы вызовете больного или захотите изменить своей второй половинке. Вы можете нанять профессиональных гостей на свадьбу, чтобы заполнить церковь, папарацци, чтобы помочь вам почувствовать себя знаменитостью, и даже арендовать жену для пробного брака, прежде чем вы найдете настоящую. Нет, мы не говорим о сексуальных услугах, просто женщина, готовая готовить вам обеды, собирать и стирать вашу одежду. По-видимому, вы будете испытывать брак из 50-х годов.

Но не все услуги одинаковы, и Интернет полон неравноценных услуг. Один человек написал, что он/она украшает торты, и, очевидно, получил несколько неблагоприятных комментариев о своей работе. Продавец написал: «Видя все плохие комментарии, которые я получил на мой вчерашний пост о торте[,] я не спал всю ночь, украшая этот[.] Видно значительное улучшение[.] Так что спасибо всем за конструктивную критику[.] Вы просто сделали меня в 10 раз лучше». На фотографии, сопровождающей этот пост, изображен торт, увенчанный потрепанным окном в форме яйца с тем, что выглядит как Джоан Риверс с крыльями или Тинкер Белл — если бы она была двойником Джоан Риверс — гримасничающим из него. Он/она так гордились своей работой, что вывесили новые (предположительно завышенные) цены.

Один продавец предложил построить «деревенскую джакузи» за 9 500 долларов. По сути, продавец разрезал пополам стальной ¾-дюймовый продолговатый резервуар для воды или природного газа, установил сбоку сиденье на 4 человека, воздушный резервуар и трубку для барботера и установил все это над костром в траншее. Продавец обещает, что вода нагреется всего за 2 часа и будет оставаться теплой до утра. Конечно, новая джакузи высшего класса с регулируемым массажем струй, удобными эргономичными сиденьями и нагревателем, который, по общему признанию, нагревается за 3-4 часа, обойдется покупателю примерно на $3 000 дешевле.

3 Запах Бранджелины

Воздух знаменитостей может стоить еще более запредельные суммы. В 2015 году пакет Ziploc с воздухом якобы с концерта Канье Уэста во время его Yeezus Tour был выставлен на eBay с начальной ценой в 5 долларов. После 90 предложений цена выросла до 60 100 долларов. Воспользовавшись случаем, на аукцион было выставлено 20 мешков якобы концертного воздуха Канье, одно из объявлений гласило: «Воздух, взятый с мест в первом ряду; ВОЗМОЖНО содержит дыхание Канье!!!». Узнав об этом, тогдашняя жена Канье, Ким Кардашьян, написала в Твиттере: «Ого, он может продать все!».

Одна пара, которая может соперничать с Ким и Канье и которая также находится в процессе развода, — это Брэд Питт и Анджелина Джоли. Еще в 2010 году, когда они еще встречались, на аукционе eBay была выставлена банка, которая, по сообщениям, была наполнена выдохом Брэда и Анджелины, когда они проходили мимо банки во время мероприятия на красной дорожке. Нет никаких признаков того, что Бранджелина выдыхала в банку, что банка находилась достаточно близко к паре, чтобы уловить их дыхание, или каких-либо доказательств того, что банка вообще была на мероприятии с красной дорожкой. И все же какая-то бедная душа купила банку за 523 доллара.

2Склепы рядом с Мэрилин Монро

Среди недавних примеров этого явления — использованная салфетка Скарлетт Йоханссон (проданная за $5 300), недоеденный французский тост Джастина Тимберлейка ($3 154), накладной ноготь Леди Гаги ($13 000) и камень из почки Уильяма Шатнера ($25 000). Довольно много личных вещей Бритни Спирс было выставлено на аукцион, включая использованную пачку жевательной резинки ($14 000), наполовину съеденный сэндвич с яичным салатом ($520) и тест на беременность, украденный из ванной комнаты ее отеля ($5 000).

Мэрилин Монро — еще одна знаменитость, которая страдала от вторжений в ее личную жизнь при жизни и, к сожалению, еще долго после ее смерти. В 2010 году на аукцион были выставлены три рентгеновских снимка ее грудной клетки, сделанные, когда она поступила в больницу «Кедры Ливана» во Флориде в ноябре 1954 года. Фронтальный рентгеновский снимок грудной клетки (на медицинском жаргоне известный как задне-передняя проекция) был продан за 25 000 долларов, а два профильных снимка (боковые проекции) — по 10 000 долларов за штуку.

Когда она умерла в 1962 году, ее похоронили в мавзолее на кладбище «Пирс Бразерс Вествуд Виллидж Мемориал Парк», в склепе, очевидно, приобретенном во время ее менее чем годичного брака с суперзвездой бейсбола Джо Ди Маджио. Во время их развода в 1954 году Ди Маджио продал свой склеп прямо над склепом Монро предпринимателю Ричарду Пончеру. Когда Пончер умер в 1986 году, у него была странная последняя просьба: он хотел, чтобы его похоронили в гробу лицом вниз, якобы для того, чтобы он мог смотреть на Монро всю вечность. По словам его вдовы Элси, его желание было исполнено, и после похорон его перевернули на живот.

Двадцать три года спустя Элси хотела погасить ипотеку в размере 1,6 миллиона долларов за свой дом в Беверли-Хиллз и решила перевезти останки своего мужа и выставить его склеп на аукцион со стартовой ценой в 500 000 долларов. В результате трехдневных торгов цена достигла рекордных 4,6 миллиона долларов. К сожалению, этот участник торгов отказался, и Элси обратилась к 11 другим, сделавшим ставки свыше 4,5 миллиона долларов. Все 11 тоже отказались.

Узнав об аукционе Элси, другая вдова выставила на торги склеп рядом с домом Монро со стартовой ценой в 250 000 долларов. Она не получила ни одной ставки. А тело Ричарда Пончера до сих пор находится над телом Монро. Кстати, Хью Хефнер купил склеп рядом с могилой Монро за 75 000 долларов. Поклонники Монро были возмущены, когда Хефнер был похоронен рядом с ней в 2017 году, в основном потому, что Хефнер использовал ее обнаженную фотографию 1948 года без ее разрешения для выпуска своего журнала Playboy в 1953 году. Хефнер не только не получил ее разрешения, но и не заплатил ей за использование фотографии, а также не извинился за то, что почти разрушил ее карьеру.

1Бабушкины «денчеры»

Очевидно, что некоторые объявления призваны стать катарсисом, бальзамом для боли. Одна женщина из Оклахома-Сити рекламировала газонокосилку своего мужа за 500 долларов. Но она не могла не вставить несколько колкостей. «У нее меньше миль, чем у его подружки. Едва использовалась, в отличие от его дешевой подружки…. Это газонный трактор. Не знаю, что это значит, но он пахал только на ней». В другом объявлении предлагался бесплатный комплект из дивана и дивана-люкс за $1600, которому всего месяц от роду. На фотографиях отчетливо видны несколько прорех и дыр в обивке. «Итак, мы с мужем поссорились», — написала продавец. «Я перевезла свои вещи на склад и пришла, потому что у меня все еще был ключ[.] Обнаружила, что он купил новые диваны[.] Я убила их[.] Все», — сказала она, признавшись, что «порезала диваны ножом». Она продолжает: «Мы помирились, и [я] переехала обратно» и добавила «неххххх хахахаха».

В 2016 году жительница Великобритании сбежала с другим мужчиной, забрав автомобиль мужа и оставив свой собственный Smart Roadster 2004 года выпуска. Родстер был ударом по лицу ее мужа, потому что он считал его «абсолютным позором автомобиля», подходящим только для «человека с малым или полным отсутствием достоинства». Он продал его и ее личные вещи на eBay, сказав, что на вырученные деньги он сможет напиться и купить услуги проститутки.

В 2020 году женщина просматривала рынок подержанной одежды и остановилась на понравившейся ей футболке с изображением женщины в спальне. Представьте себе ее шок, когда она поняла, что спальня принадлежит ее парню. Она связалась с продавцом и убедилась, что это действительно будуар ее парня. Продавец извинился, а затем набрался наглости и спросил подругу, интересует ли ее еще эта футболка.

Одна бабушка якобы имела привычку занимать у внука деньги на покупку вещей, но не возвращала их. Так, внук разместил на рынке Facebook (признана экстремистской организацией, деятельность которой запрещена в Российской Федерации) бабушкины «денчеры» за 100 долларов, отметив, что они «очень чистые, как новые».

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